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Japanese culture is weird. The proof? Vending machines that sell used underwear to ageing businessmen and ultra-violent cartoons featuring schoolgirls with huge eyes and misogynistic predators. It's not all bad, though. Final Fantasy VII was responsible for bringing RPGs to the masses and now the sequel to the game that sold millions on the PlayStation and a couple of hundred on the PC is back to swallow your spare time.
Final Fantasy VII is a classic of the RPG genre. Originally released for the PlayStation in 1997, this 3d roleplaying game follows a young warrior named Cloud Strife who joins forces with a band of rebels to fight an oppressive megacorporation.
In a lot of respects the game is exactly the same as Final Fantasy VII. Unless you're particularly good or especially bad at these games, you can expect to complete it in about 50 hours. And, in those 50 hours you can expect to be gobsmacked by the visuals (which have been sharpened up for the PC release this time round), gripped by the amazing storyline, and left cold by the feeling that you're not actually having to do a great deal to progress.
A few things have changed since the last outing. As well as providing 640x480 visuals, the graphics are more conventional and Western in style and there's a distinct lack of cutesy surreal Japanese-ness, which is going to be good news for some (us included) and a source of distinct discomfort for other, may we say younger, players.
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Watford Junction
Also, there's a new Junction system that provides access to magic and the extremely powerful Guardian Forces. Squaresoft has tried to make this seem as complicated as possible, and if you can get a solid handle on the concept by sitting through the on-screen tutorials, then you're better men than us. It took us about an hour of solid head scratching before we realised that there wasn't actually anything to it. The process goes as follows: obtain a Guardian Force and you get the option to Junction various abilities such as Magic, Draw (used to obtain magic spells from either a Draw Point or an enemy in battle), Item and GF (summon the beastie itself).
As you move through the game you're given access to more powerful magic, and as well as the characters levelling-up, your GFs do as well, learning new abilities in the process and improving their hit point tally (for they can suffer the humiliating KO as well). The fact that your GFs can take damage instead of you, when their summon-bar is charging down, adds another tactical element to the fights.That's about it though. If you're looking for a radical overhaul, you won't find it here.
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It's still blatantly obvious that Final Fantasy VIII has originated from a console and anyone who says otherwise is talking from the wrong end. The peculiar control system is still present and correct, and the dialogue boxes look like they've been ported across from the SNES.It doesn't affect the quality of the game itself, but it's lazy programming and completely at odds with the cut-scenes that are by far the best we've seen on the PC, ever. And we mean ever. Square must have commandeered every single workstation in Japan and had them running 24x7 for a couple of years to end up with as much quality footage as they have here.
Top Plot
Then there's the story. It starts off as wet as a puddle, with too much slop and sentiment, but you just know it's going to improve. Flashbacks mix with dream sequences and character betrayals to provide more plot twists than the entire archive of Tales Of The Unexpected.
You genuinely care about the characters you're playing and although Squall, the central hero, is a bit of an arse, you still get attached to him. And, if you don't get out much - and you won't once you start playing this game - then Rinoa and Selphie should provide fuel for your fantasies. Although admitting attraction to animated characters is not something we approve of. Ahem.
We're not giving away the plot. If you want to know what happens, you're going to have to be prepared to invest 50 hours of your valuable time repeatedly hitting the 'x' key on your keyboard. Are we being a bit harsh on the gameplay? Possibly, but a lot of Final Fantasy VIII is just too linear to be hailed as a classic. In fact, in this respect it's actually worse than FFVII.For the first ten hours of the game you can't put a foot wrong. Battles are too easy and it's impossible to wander away from the all-important storyline.
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Repetitive
Progress through the second CD and fights start to level out and you're likely to see the 'Game Over' legend appear on your screen a few times. This uproots another problem: if you've played FFVII you will know that the summon spells take a long time to brew. Fight someone powerful and you're likely to spend half an hour watching the most OTT spells that the Japanese have ever invented. We'd have to repeat the line 'it gets repetitive' about 1,000 times to get the point across properly. Please: if you code a Final Fantasy IX, and we think you will, then let us escape from these time-wasters with a hot-key. If you want to sit through a 40-minute batde that consists of 37 minutes of the same animation playing over and over again, then that's your business, but we've got better things to do with our time.
We Still Love You
Also gone are the humorous and surreal sub-games, such as the motorbike chase and the Chocobo race. Throughout the whole of the first two COs, the best we got was a quick round of 'turn the wheel to open the hatch'. To win you have to hit the 'a' key repeatedly for ten seconds. Talk about dumbing down. And these are two words that you're going to be muttering under your breath if you've played any of the respected RPGs from the Black Isle stable - Planescape. Torment in particular. However, we're well aware that there are a lot of people who like linear adventures and if this is you, then you cant do better than this.
And despite all the criticisms that we've levelled at the game, we were still strangely addicted from the moment the first risible strains of music started spewing from our speakers. Why? The quality of the graphics (which are better than sex in places) and the amazing storyline are the chief culprits, but Final Fantasy VIII goes beyond that. It could be dismissed as a clone of FFVII, but it also has a charm that's totally unique.
The best analogy we can use is the elder relative that comes to stay at Christmas: you're always willing to ignore the embarrassing bits because you love what's underneath.